Oh yes, Susannah Reid, I dunno what it is, whether it's the sanctimonious laugh, the stuck up attitude or the way you have such great 'camaraderie' with the other presenters, but you are one "sexy" lady.
Oh yes.... bleurgh!! This time I've gone too far...As of today, we are through the looking glass... Mere seconds ago, during the Tottenham-Fulham F.A. Cup 5th Round game I saw an advert for Hi Tec Trainers saying merely: "Enjoy our shoes."
They were shite. Jack Bauer wouldn't stand for this crap... Hang on. Nope never seen it.
Old!
Young!
Do you get my point you Sontaran Twats? Fucking Loch Ness Monster? I'll have ya!
Dirk: Yeah baby, what's her number?... Hang on, this font is too small for the Faceman!...
The name of the actress is Siobhan Hayes, and she is so shit I couldn't even get a decent picture of her. But you saw her pants in one episode and the label on her knickers in another. Also, she has blonde hair and looks thick as fuck, so that is reason enough for my hormones to kick in. Shame she was the first off Strictly Come Dancing. She could have gone scantily clad.
Whaddya you think Dirk?
Dirk: You're tripping kid. She's a dawg. Here, have some Hummous. And chickpeas. Like Monster munch but nutritious.Me: You were my childhood hero! NOOOO! Why are you so dull?
Siobhan: Wow, to think, me in an interview with Dirk Benedict! Front row! No more crappy parts on The Bill now.
Richard Hatch: Apparently I got off with the Tax Fraud and am still in that remake on Sky One. That's on Tuesday nights (another thousand bucks for the IRS). God I'm handsome. Come on Stephen, back in the hot tub!
Mr T: Wait for me fool!
V 
Me: Ok Dirk it's me. Mr Cross. Do the lights in the house give you headaches? And how come no one has a wank or owt?
Dirk: Yeah baby. God that Shilpa's on fucking sexy Lady. i love diversity.
Me: Why do you smoke cigars and eat health food? That's fucking stupid.
Dirk: Erm... Actually I'm boring in real life. And live in Montana and am cruel to hamsters.
Me: Oh well fuck off then. Apollo was better than you and B.A. and Hannibal AND Murdoch were better in the A Team.
Dirk: Yeah. I agree. Bye bye.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (Vintage Contemporaries) by Mark Haddon
Some kid with Aspergers syndrome tries to solve the murder of a dog. And then fibds out it was his dad. Ha! Spoiler!
Round Ireland with a Fridge by Tony Hawks
Picto-tastic!
Who's the B*****d in the Black? : Confessions of a Premiership Referee by Jeff Winter
"He's put me ad on. He's a top fella I'll see you all next Season at Darlo where they make me go. Fuckin' ell can I not watch the team I support" Jeff. No Jeff: they remember that you were a naughty boy at Ayresom Park and have barred you! Bwahahaha! There's only one Stevie Gibson!
She looks like a lesbian. Who has red sauce on her chips.
Who the F**K Are Arctic Monkeys
yeah right
Jeff Wayne's Musical Version Of The War Of The Worlds
The chances of anything coming from Mars will now be significantly more than 1 million to one, they say. Just got a GCSE!
Listen with the commentary on for the full geek experience, in a series that mocks geeks, written by geeks, some jokes about Al Qaeda etc.
We know someone who looks exactly like Peter Griffin and shares his name. It is more than coincidence: There is mystical energy at work.
It is a nice film.
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