Stephen

Hello there, it's your president and commander in chief here, fresh from the press conference where no one likes Blair. I say, I say boy those tree huggin' hippy types don't know a top quality man. God told him to invade Iraq. Wonder if he has a special line in Downing Street? Whattaguy. I mean, gawd he sounds like Hugh Grant.

Anyway, if like me you like to hear British accents, Monty Pylon and Billy Hall or whatever and are an honest, working joe like me, then you'll like the link below. It's for BBC3 and you can watch all of their shows on there. Hooey. That's great...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/

(Actually, what am I doing all those shows suck!)

So Americans, Stephen here. You better do as he says. You can watch non-US shows right there on your interweb. Peace out.

(Do I get my cheque now?! What do you mean it's going to the White House! We had a deal Patterson! You sold me out!)

This is one of my namesakes: Stevie Cross. It's a she...

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=29090309

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1295940/

You WILL get wet.

Which is better, Renford Rejects or Jossy’s Giants? Well, nostalgia will lead you to think that the 80s fest is but… It bloody well isn’t! No it isn’t! It’s the daft one on Nickelodeon. My God, they had some guest stars. Harry Redknapp. Ian Rush. Erm, Harry Redknapp.

 Eeh Bonny Lad. Milky puddin' and a stotty like me mam used to make, man. Why Aye.

(I’ll tell you: ‘What the f**k is Renford Rejects? And Jossy’s Giants was alright when we were kids but now?!’ You’re all thinking that! Except for the Americans. You’re all thinking ‘Dude, that’s like totally sweet and stuff. Dude.’ Soon the hate mail will begin…)

Voice of God: Stephen, what are you watching a kids program for?...

Ok so I was in the Geek Supplies Store and noticed that they sell action figures for such loved characters as 'God' from Family Guy, and various bit part characters from The Simpson. Freddy Quimby? Who? Exactly. Who in their right mind buys this crap? WHO?! Yes, there's a gap in the market for sacreligous bit part characters. Here is the Pope and Brian's gay cousin or something. And Mayor Adam West:

Actually, how much is that last one? I love Adam West.

Alright chuck it's me Liam Jones, hero from the past here. From't Yorkshire lahk.

Ey up Crossy lad, what you talkin' bout Leeds like that for? Me an't' Skinny are Manc City fans lahhhhhk. Reet good they are. Remember the Good Old Days when we used to drink all day and all night and then I would fuck off to shag some ugly beeyatch? Classic days.

Alriaaaaht chuck. Off to piss on with computers or whatever it is I do. Tara chuck.

I haven't got long but very quickly, I'd just like to say if anyone EVER asks you to sell anything, hit them hard!

Yeah I hate frigging sales, but I like the money. I do not like, however, the feeling I get at 4 O'Clock when I have to actually do sales as part of the scaled down version of my normal job. However, there is still the money. And the fact I only have to do it for 4 more months... well four and a half. Why oh why has he put all those holidays in September in?!!

(By the way if you work with me, keep schtum! We DO NOT want them to know this as it will cause problems. BIG problems.)

Hmm, I wonder, if I suck and suck and suck, will they give me 3 months severence pay...

God I am bored. Tell me a story. PLEASE DADDY.

See that's what happens when you go with Stream of Consciousness. Creepy. Today in the news I see it's college/university (posh get) kicking out time because they are advertising graduate jobs. Ah, all of those broken dreams of company cars and posh suits. And the boss doing charlie off the secretarie's arse in the photocopying room. Halcyon days. Business attire. Team player. Pull together in the same direction.

Ah shuttup. (If you have nothing to say, don't say anything at all).

Dunno about this posting every day lark. I mean, what the hell was that?!

Well, today all I have to say is: If you find fart jokes overly amusing you're a jerk.

If you make your living selling insurance, or are a medical doctor who plays 'rugger' and sound slightly posh, or enjoy the Dolly Parton version of 'I will always love you' and have a picture of Whitney Houston attached to a dartboard you're a moron.

If you can keep your head when all men around them are losing theirs and put your last 10 pence on a round of pitch and toss, and lose and go "Well it's my fucking Dreamcast! Fuck off!" and storm out then yours is the earth and everything in it. And more than that: you'll be an idiot, my son.

Shut up Stephen. Ok then. Goodnight Mary Ellen.

Well I just worked out that it would be 1985 by now!... At the moment I watch the newer eps on Bravo when I come in from college (want Sky+. Like T-Vo) and then the classic eps when I get home from work. It must be like M*A*S*H* where the Korean war lasted a fraction of the series... unless each series counts for less that one year.