Stephen

Argh Polly, where's the map for Mourinho's treasure? Argh it be hidden in Drogba's diving pants. 3 dead men and Wimbledon FC, yohoho I'm gonna cut thee. (God that was rubbish).

(He was in this bad version of Mysterious Island with Patrick Steward. Terrible Monday night entertainment. Couldn't find a picture)

Anyway just so y'all know I'm bored, I have to go to work and this laptop/notebook (if you pretend to be an executive) is probably making me sterile. Good to know.

I might just repost the entry from Hartlepool United's Adam Boyd. It was really him... Just realised as posting it, Oh bugger I know people who know him in real life! But it was really him.

And now a word from...

Jeff Winter! They've only got 12 men and the weferee's a ranker.

How do? It's meeee! Jeff Winter! Wow what a week I've had. Went down Linthorpe Road for a parmo with our mam last night and chuffin heck it were gorgeous. Anyway, who saw me on Sky Sports the other night?... Noone? I were talking about the intricacies of the English game I was. And how great it feels to make rich men cry in their bling that night! Cry! Hahaha! I'm a true man of the people. The F.A? Should mean Fuck All! Obey MEEEEEE Jeff Winter! Radio 1? Tfm 96.60. Soon there will be no pop charts and just a back to the 80's weekend! Or is that Century?... Dunno. Obey Meeee! Tara chuck.

Mon Dieu (spelt right?) You fool Boumsong! Getting sent off and trying to score from a free kick! I think you need some more special boots son...

And now our very special guest columnist...

It's meeee, Jeff WInter! Who's that Bastard in the black?

Hello everyone, you may or may not know this, but I am Stephen's best mate and a real Gen-uuuu-ine Shelebrity! Look I've got a book and everything and a radio show on TFM that's listened to by about 3 Darlo fans. Once a Poolie rang up and told me to shut up and go and suck on the ICI. So I cut the Monkey f**ker off! Haha! They all obey me just like Keane. Here now! Booked! Hahaha I am mad on power!!! Soon all of TFM will be mine! I will play the back to the 80s hits! And the 90s weekend will be my domain!

P.S. Buy my book. It is rubbish!

I'd take a picture of myself but... well my connection is slow today and I can't find my usb cable. That and the fact that you really, really don't want to see what I look like...

Never again!

Anyone remember the movie "That Thing You Do" that Tom Hanks directed? I watched it in a hungover stupor (after somehow going to the gym). It's not too bad and the guy from The Fountains of Wayne wrote the songs. If you haven't seen it, it's about a fictional '60s band who have one song. And then they split up. And the drummer gets off with Liv Tyler. This was before she went too skinny and weird.

Tom Everett Scott, 'star' of Dead Man on Campus and American Werewolf in Paris: Where are you now?! That's a cool haircut fella!

Aye I'm a bit knackered today and the Dru Man has his heart set on The Toon (Newcastle) as opposed to the crap yet cheaper and more convenient Mackem County (Sunderland). So I dunno if I'm bothering! Shame really, cause I'm in a mildly good mood today.

Oh Well. I went to a museum by myself (for about 10 minutes) in Boro after the lecture. It was near Albert Park and had an old signed Boro ball by Colin Cooper and others... Juninho probably there somewhere. Hey it killed a few minutes. Work later then off to the pub... maybe.

I said f*ck off fatha you're a c*nt! I'd rather f*ck a bucket with a large hole in it
than be a Man U fan for a single minute
But I f*cked it, I f*cked it
I f*cked it and f*cked it
I f*cked it till I could'nt f*ck no more
and I got more out of f*cking that bucket
than seeing Wayne Rooney score

5-0 5-0! There's only one Phillipe Albert!

Good old Petie has just made a very elementary error and Rooney has just put 2 goals past Newcastle before half time.

Peter, you're a good lad but I think you need to THINK ON! There's always the Reserves. You liked that captain's armband didn't you?

Meanwhile it is snowing like hell outside, and my car lock froze. Yikes. Oh by the way... afternoon drinking suck diddley ucks on the belly. Bloody Guinness. Never again. Not even on Paddy's day. Unless there's nowt on the telly.

I'll probably get called a geek by Dave (denial is a river in Egypt, son), however I just remembered that the effects in Jurassic Park were confirmed as being done on a computer with less processing power than a PS2. That was confirmed by Speilberg, who waxed lyrical about the opportunities of the PS2 when it came out. I know there were animatronics but, hey it's impressive.

 Damn those Raptors are so smart... They never put the lottery on.

How messed up is that? God damn progress. An even more humbling fact is that the early Babylon 5 effects were done on an Amiga 4000... and as confirmed in this months Retro Gamer mag, some of the pilot effects were done on an out of the box Amiga 1200 with a 3d rendering program... Now that's just laughable!

 Were we ever this geeky? Hey it might be camp/ironic one day...

By the way, Babylon 5 is the Queen Mother of Geek shows: it may be ironic to look back and laugh one day, like Blake 7, but now I just kinda feel embarassed that I watched it religously! And that goes double for the later Buffys!

See ya

Yes, once again I have changed the design. My dad of course lives and works in Tralee in Ireland. But of course... I dunno if it's that big a deal to be Irish. It's quite odd how different countries idolise each other! After all, there will be people there who don't like their country etc.

Green Man Day 3: I don't think he's coming...

Okey dokey, I searched for all of 3 minutes while driving home last night but he didn't show up. Apparently he's some kind of pagan legend on fertility. Bull, I bet he eats scary things and kicks ass! I believe!