Stephen

I am never eating or drinking EVER again... Now listen son, you go in a pub and drink big man's beer then this happens.

Blurgh

Don't Panic!

It's my first day of cheating on wor Toon! Kickoff at Anfield: 3:00pm. I will be... in the stands at The Riverside... Watching Boro. THIS IS WRONG PEOPLE!

Apart from the Boxing Day, or as Ben Folds called it the day after Christmas, is pretty dull. Will I go out and get frickin' wasted? Probably! Actually no because my stomach is a bit off.

Well it sure was different watching Doctor Who instead of Only Fools And Horses or something like that, but I enjoyed it. By the way, yes I do realise that wearing his dressing gown is a bit Arthur Dent (Hitchikers Guide). I just didn't until it was in the script. Oh well. Terribly spotted.

See ya!

Now I'm not one for Xmas dinner and this year was no different because I've had next to nowt and have a bad stomach. Now back from my damn sisters and am waiting for Doctor Who, have no beer or doritos or anything I like and am BORED! BORED!

On the bright side til 7 whole days til my final stint in purgatory... that beeyatch will not be happy until your old pal Mr Cross washes out just cos she can't...mmm lessee read a book, think independently or see beyond the end of her own nose.

Come on kids remember me in your prayers! I need y'all to help keep me going!

See ya...

Hello boys and girls. It's time for the Queen's Speech and after that we can all watch Doctor Who. What the Feck is up with his dressing gown??? Apparently no he doesn't wear it all the time but hey, y'know. Well all you Johnny Foreigners reading this are probably wondering what's going on in this bastion of tradition called England this Xmas.

Well it's pretty boring, but I'm watching Soccer AM at the moment. It's quite a good program but I don't particularly fancy Helen Chaimberlain. Shame...

 By the way Doctor Who is about this 'Time Lord' who travels round in a 'Police Box', which is like a blue call box from the '50s, and it's sci fi and has daleks or something. Last night in the pub with Davey Boy Clak (more about him in the coming weeks... he's going away to Australia) we had a massive argument about 'that' dressing gown that the new Doctor wears (he isn't actualy called Doctor Who... and has changed appearance more than Bond but he is an alien or something).

I can now confirm that this is his new costume:

 See ya later and merry Boxing Day.

Just so you know, the spell check online has vanished, so for the first time I’m typing this into Word. Sigh. Anyhoo I went out and got a little drunk last night and ended up crying in my beer knowing that I will never be a true Newcastle fan. Ever. Because I’m JUDAS and have buggered off to that Small Town In Yorkshire. The funny thing is, the girl who I give lifts to work in gave me a cup with Newcastle on AND IT CRACKED AS I PUT MY COFFEE IN IT!

My God, that’s when I knew the dream was over and I had been claimed by Middlesbrough , like my Grandad was manipulating me from heaven.

Sigh. Anyway I’m going to Hartlepool to 'part-ay' in this mod bar (The Jam, The Who, y’know) called The Spot. Lessee what’s online about it….

Hmm... The website says:

"Hartlepool's only bar dedicated to all modists opened its doors for business Friday 30th November 2001. The aim of the spot is for true music fans to enjoy a decent drink in an atmosphere designed to suit their music tastes.

the spot took its name from one of our favourite tracks - Running on the Spot - by the one and only The Jam. This theme, we hope, runs through the whole bar. So why not call in and see for yourselves?..."

Wow that was a clever ploy to make this sound like a long post. Actually, this bar sucks. I bet I'm back home by ten. Again. Such a lightweight.

Oh well I gotta moderate (I normally abstain).

See ya!

Alrighty how can I explain this...

I am a fan of Newcastle United. A football/SOCK-HER team:

However, recently I applied for a season ticket and then we signed England striker Michael Owen and suddenly everyone starts going to the 52,000 capacity stadium.

... Then one day a friend of mine had a spare ticket for Middlesbrough (The "Borough" or Boro) who my Grandad used to support. So I decided to go for shits n giggles...

Yes I was sucked in and am now an exile as I have attended 6 Middlesbrough games this season and not a single Newcastle game. Also, bear in mind my previous record was 4 games...

Yes I'm very VERY VERY confused. I keep calling myself a splitter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know how Judas felt! My God what am I now? I am a Newcastle fan going to see a team who I'm fairly indifferent to out of convenience. To be honest though, it is a good view and they NEVER sell out cos their own fans aren't all exactly die hard...

But then now neither am I... Don't cry for me... ah shaddup.

(P.S. I might be getting a season ticket as my Newcastle dreams are over... for now. Dave when you get back from Australia you are frigging going on that waiting list!)

I have gastrointeritis now... Trying to get back to my part time job tomorrow. On a friday I am sick!

Anyhoo there's a show on in England now called 'Space Cadets' which is this reality show where these people think they are in a private space shuttle orbiting the Earth. But it's just a simulator. Idiots. That's all I have watched pretty much. God I am sick!

All y'all need to know is that it is purgatory! These are the days of my life that damn place is sucking away.

(n.b. This means he doesn't like it very much).

Don't cry for me I'm already dead.

Oh by the way, it's my blog and I'm allowed to say: (read extraquick)

Stupid brain dead dumb blonde ho!! Pseudo intellectual damn airhead putting on dumbstupid stop talking about yourself ALLTHGODDAMNTIME and that's blasphemy, I have to wash my f*cking mouth out now. I'm sure your damn guy's a loser in real life (trekkie) and I'm better off without listening to that friggin voice every single day and oh my god you actually have authority over me now and I have to ask you if I can go to the vending machine. well Here's ohold for ya honey no more I'm gonna hold my head up high and try it on with the damn sho and you'll be begging me to listen to your stupid anecdotes about that damn 'smartka' that only has two seats and cost seven frigging grand! Ha that's money well spent! Go flash your eyelids at someone else sister. Yeah you heard honey you just got served and as for that damn musque you wear every...

Oops forgot to take a breath!

See ya!